Can you cope with…..?

This is a question I hear a lot now and honestly I don’t know until I try! It really annoys me though when people don’t ask the question and make the assumption that I can’t, if I don’t know how can they?

My options are I sit in the house and do very little or I try to do some things, no matter how small. If I sit in the house doing next to nothing my back will deteriorate faster as it will stiffen up, it will deteriorate anyway by why help it along? I want to stay as mobile as possible for as long as I can. So can I cope with not trying? Whereas if I try it may cause more pain for a while and I may fail, I might not be able to cope. But I just might……

I know people are trying to protect me and not overload me but surely that is my decision, only I know what I am capable of and thats only after I try. Don’t get me wrong since my pain started trying new things/meeting new people is not something I relish – it scares me! I never used to be like that, in fact I was the opposite, I was a people person and could talk away to anyone, it was part of my job as a beauty therapist. Now I get nervous at the thought, butterflies in my stomach. I haven’t really thought about why this is, other than a loss of confidence or that I feel I will be judged or stared at. Its good to do things that scare you though, how else can you get over it or learn to ignore. I’m also scared of the pain it will cause as I feel like I can’t take any more than I have already.

No-one, not even myself has the right to deny me the opportunity of giving it a go, if I fail, fair enough at least I tried and if I succeed I have something new in my life.


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