In this blog I have wrote a few posts about friends in general and friends that are no longer in my life since my back pain started. This one is focusing on whether I am still as good a friend as I was before my life changed.
Although personality wise I am the same person, my physical restrictions do have a bearing on friendships. As I am unable to work or get out the house much without someone else with me, it is very difficult to meet people and strike up a conversation. It is difficult to pop round to see many especially if they don’t live very close never mind going out and doing things socially. Most of it is down to the physical aspect but there is also the complete exhaustion and continual brain fog that makes holding a conversation difficult, though I put on a good act, I lose concentration easily and forget what I was talking about or what I was going to say.
Due to the pain being so engulfing I forget to contact anyone so they have to contact me and 9/10 times (if not more!) they come to visit me. I can’t sit in the cinema seats, I can’t go clubbing, bowling, even sitting long enough to watch a film in the house, I can’t really drink alcohol due to my medications, I can no longer drive or be a passenger in the car for very long, I can’t hill walking or go camping all which I used to do with friends before so I am limited in what I can do, which also to some degree limits the friendship.
I try to be a good friend but I’m not the same kind of friend I was before. I would still never betray a friend and still have the same morals as before. I treasure my friends more now than I did before, I don’t have nearly as many friends but the ones I have are gems and I am thankful to have them in my life. I also have more understanding and empathy for others because of what I’ve been through. All any of us can do is be the best we can. Treat others as we ourselves would like to be treated and if that’s not good enough your giving your friendship to the wrong person.